“Go outside, find your dog and be a kid. Now!” April 5, 2010

Violet played in her room for awhile – making a new cabin with her logs and pretending like there was a cougar off in the trees.   Then she decided to make a fence and let all the little logs be cows, and move them from one pasture to the other.  She was having so much fun and was so lost in her imagination that time passed very quickly.

When her mother came in to tell her it was time to go have tea and practice manners, Violet felt like she had just finished lunch a few minutes ago.  She picked up all the logs like she was told and then she went downstairs to the kitchen.

Tea party for fun, was fun; but tea party for manners was not very fun.  It was hard for Violet to see and reach when she was sitting nicely on her chair and every time she scooted forward she was told to sit back and sit up like a lady.   Finally her mother was so frustrated that she came and pushed Violet’s chair up to the table, very tight.  She could feel the back of the chair on her back and the edge of the table on her front.  Violet wanted to cry, but knew that would only make things worse.

Finally they were almost done, and her mother was quizzing her on where do you put your napkin when you are finished? How do you ask to be excused? When is it acceptable to ask to be excused? Just then her father came in.

He walked over and pulled out Violet’s chair and said firmly “Go outside, find your dog and be a kid.  Now!”

Violet looked from her mother to her father and back again and then hurried very quickly to the back door and outside.  As she was closing the door she heard her father saying “For the love of everything in heaven what is wrong with you? She is five years old and…”

Violet was glad that it was warm outside because she had not had time to grab a sweatshirt or anything.  She easily found Max and decided to go to the barn to see Grey but also hoping that she may see Beth.    The barn smelled so good, and she got a treat down for Grey and then walked to the back of the barn and out the back side door to look for Beth.

She had not been allowed to see Beth since the day her father announced they were moving her play area down stairs and she had so many things to share with her. ©

she knew he was steady March 19, 2010

Violet was already laying across Grey, and kicked him just as her father was announcing the race and heading to the gate himself.   Violet had no fear running fast with Grey, she knew he was steady and she could trust him and the speed of getting to really race full out was fun and fresh!  She easily beat her father to the gate and was grinning from ear to ear at the win.

“Grey only has to carry all 6 pounds of you, my horse has to work harder!”  Her father was grinning a big smile too.

“I weigh more than six pounds!”

“Ok seven.”  They were both laughing and smiling and Violet was so happy, times like this were rare and she knew it already at just 5 years of age.

“Ok I will open the gate, same thing as last time but this gate is a little smaller, so they may try and push back some to the side; you will do fine.  I will be back soon.”  With that he turned his horse and headed back to the cattle to help drive them toward her.

As the cattle came toward her and through the gate, the work was done in no time.  No one followed the cattle through the gate – because the cattle were in the pasture they would stay in.  One of the men jumped down from his horse and was securing the gate at both the top and the bottom.

They headed back toward the barn together.  Her father talking to the men and Violet just listening in and keeping an eye on Max as he happily followed along.   At the barn her father helped her down off of Grey, and told her she had done a really good job and sent her back to the house to clean up and play.

Violet realized she was very thirsty and was happy to head to the kitchen to get a drink.  When she came in the door, Violet could hear her mother downstairs and she hollered down to her “I am back.”

“Great! Get yourself a drink, and go ahead and have some cookies.  I will be up in a minute.  And Violet – wash your hands first!”

“Yes ma’am.”  ©

Grey will do his job … March 17, 2010

“You will be able to do it.   Grab your hat let’s go!”

Out to the barn they went, Violet was happy to be tossed up onto Grey and to head out with her father and three of the men that worked the ranch.  Max was going to earn his stay today too and was following the horses out.  The day was warm, the sun was perfect and just a small enough breeze to keep you comfortable.

In the first pasture her father directed her over to the gate he leaned over the side of his horse and opened the gate into the next pasture “Ok shorty you stay here, keep your horse next to the gate so when we push them in they will head through the gate and not past you and back into the field.  You let Grey do his job, he has done this before you just stay alert and in charge of that horse so he doesn’t spook.”

“I will daddy.”  Violet thought the job sounded easy enough but at the same time she was not sure, not fully sure.  She realized that while her father had been opening the gate and talking to her; Max and the other men had already started.  Max really loved being able to chase the cattle into position, you could see how happy he was running side to side and the cattle were already all coming toward her and Grey.  Her father was on one side, two men in the back and one on the other side and the cattle were coming right along in one group.  Before she knew it they were heading through the gate – right past her and Grey.

It was a lot of energy and dirt was kicked up some, the men were making some noises and whistles at the cattle and every now and then Max would chime in with a bark.   Max followed the last one in and her father said “That is your cue shorty follow Max.”  Violet rode through the gate and was followed by her father and the other men.  One of them closed the gate as her father looked at her with a smile on his face and said “See that gate? The far one at the end?”

Violet knew where he meant, but no she could not see it.  But she knew what was coming next.  As she answered “Yes I know the gate.”  she leaned forward slightly into her saddle, patted Grey on the neck, made sure her feet were firm in the stirrups and could not help but smile.  “Race you!” her father said as he turned his horse and kicked him forward. ©

why is it so cold? February 20, 2010

On the ride home she told her father all about the heads they had made and asked many questions about what she should do in the parade?

When they parked the truck and he pulled her out, he said “How about we go in together and find your mother and tell her about the parade.  Might be easier on all of us that way.”

Max met the truck and was wagging his tail to spend a quick moment or two with Violet.   She was happy to see Max, but it also made her remember that the calf was no longer alive.

Her mother was waiting for them and was anxious for Violet to see how the painting looked in the new playroom.  On the way down the stairs her dad mentioned that Violet wanted to ride in the tractor in the parade.

“That sounds like a great idea.  We can get you a parade dress when we are in the city.  Ok come on you two, come see the playroom.”

Just as her mother reached in to turn on the light there was a popping noise and all of the lights downstairs went off.  Violet jumped and reached for her moms hand.

“What happened?  and why is it so cold?”

Her mother squeezed her hand, and said “It is an old house with old wires that is all.  Dean go check the box. “  He was already walking away and opening the door to let some light stream in from outside.

“It is cold isn’t it.  There must be a draft from the door.  Violet I want you to go and wait near the door.  Go on, go now.”

Violet hurried to the door and was happy to feel the warm sunshine and to be in the light.  She could hear her mother saying something but just barely, it was like she was whispering.  She could only make out a few words and was leaning to try and hear more.

“into the light…no place …into the light…around the wheel…into a mirror”

Violet was listening so hard, that when the lights came back on she nearly jumped out of her skin.  ©

bring a hose in February 10, 2010

Violet was so sad to hear about Cocoa, and was trying so hard not to cry.  All of a sudden though she could remember flashes of the morning and they made sense.  Her mother seemed mad, her dad said NO she could not see the calf, Max was outside when they left.

Violet realized she was holding the necklace in her hand, and as she let go of the necklaces the pictures she was seeing from the morning were gone.   Sara’s voice interrupted her thoughts “Now we can start making the goop, this is the fun part.  See all of these papers that are torn into long strips?  We will take those one at a time, get them in the goop, scrape the extra off and then lay them over the masks.  It will make a shell of paper and goop.”

“It sounds fun!”

Sara laughed “Yes it is fun.  But we will be bored with it by the last head I think.”

The girls got busy mixing up the bucket of “goop” and had made a large mess all over the floor and table in no time at all.  The first two heads went really fast, and they were on the third one when Aunt Ellie came in to check on them and have them take a lunch break.

“Well I can see we will have to bring a hose in to clean up in here.  Oh Violet I am teasing, it is not that bad, put a smile back on.   I am thinking that instead of a kitchen lunch though we should have a classroom lunch to keep all the cleanup in one place.  I will go finish it all up, pack it into a picnic basket and bring it all down here.  You two get washed up and find a place the three of us can eat.   Oh and Violet, I have some sad news for you.  Your father wanted me to tell you that the calf died last night.  It was too weak and it just was not meant to be, he was afraid you would be too upset to be there today.   Are you ok?”

Violet was still sad, but she was trying not to laugh too.  “Thank you Aunt Ellie I am fine.” But she started to cry and her aunt came and wrapped her arms around her “It is ok Violet, nothing wrong with a good cry, I love you.  Oh ..”

As Ellie stepped a bit back from Violet she realized she had sticky paper mache all over her clothing – she started to laugh and then so did the girls.  “Give me sometime to clean up a bit too.  I will be back in about 10 minutes with lunch.”

Sara and Violet burst into laughter as soon as she was gone, whispering and giggling about how the pinky swear promise was safe and about the mess on Ellie’s clothes.   They worked quickly to get a place cleaned up for lunch.  ©

pinky swear? February 8, 2010

“What did you think about the truck going into the river last weekend?  I did not get to see you after because your parents put you in the camper.  Your father was so mad at uncle Jacob!  Every right to be mad too, at least I think so.”

“Why was he so mad?”

“Oh they didn’t tell you?”  Sara looked very surprised and Violet was very worried that this might have something to do with the secret she promised to keep with her father.

Sara did not wait for a reply and simply continued with the story.  “Well it seems that Jacob had been drinking, truthfully they all had been your father and mine too.  Anyway Jacob had too much to drink, and so when he was backing the trailer down, he went too far and too fast.   I didn’t see it right from the start but I guess your dad was in the boat and saw it all and was pretty mad.  Do you know that before you all left that Jacob and Dean got into a good yelling match?  Truth is it was pretty funny to see.”

“You mean my dad and uncle Jacob were having a yelling fight?”

Laughing Sara replied “A yelling fight, yes that is a good way to explain it!  But I overheard my mom on the phone, and she was saying everything was all patched up now, and it is fine.  No hard feelings or anything, so this weekend will be normal.”

“Oh but it won’t be.”  Violet was so pleased that she had something to share with Sara, something she could tell.  She stood up a little straighter and said “Mom and I will not be there, well not till the last day.  We are going to the city to go shopping for my new playroom and to stay with Uncle.”

“Really, I did not hear that yet.  Well good for you!  I bet you will have a lot of fun, and I did hear about the playroom.  It sounds very cool.  Are you excited or will you miss the barn?”

“I promised to be happy about it, so I am happy.  But I already miss the barn, and Max and Grey won’t be allowed in the playroom.  But Max has been in the house!  He is helping take care of Cocoa, a calf that needs to stay warm and have a bottle.”

Sara looked very surprised, and then seemed to be concentrating very hard on the last smile of the last head and not saying anything.

“Sara what is wrong?”

“Oh Violet I am so sorry, I thought you knew.  I will tell you but you have to promise that you won’t tell anyone that I told you.  Pinky Swear?”

“Pinky Swear” the girls said in unison and Violet listened very carefully as Sara told her the sad news that Cocoa had died last night and that was the real reason she was sent here today, so she would not be sad. ©

giant heads? February 6, 2010

Violet told her mother goodbye and realized the smell was the smell of paint from the walls of her new playroom.  As she crawled up in the truck Max followed her, licked her hand and watched the truck leave.

It only took a few minutes to get to her Aunt and Uncle’s place because they lived not far down the big road.   As they were pulling in, Uncle Lacey was pulling out in his truck and they waved as they passed each other on the driveway.   Her father parked the truck and had Violet crawl over to his side so he could lift her out; about that same time the front door opened and Sara came out to greet them.

“Thanks for doing this Sara, one of us will come back mid-afternoon or so and pick shorty back up.”

“No problem Uncle Dean we will have a lot of fun today, and I can use the help.  Hi Violet how are you?” Violet and Sara shared a quick hug as Violet replied “I am great thank you!  I get to help you do something to day? What are we going to do?”

“Hey tell me goodbye, I have work to do myself” her father hugged her and Violet said “Bye daddy I love you.”  Truth was it was just a quick thing to get through because she was very excited to hear what she was going to help Sara do.

They waved and watched her father turn around and drive down the long driveway back to the road.  “Ok well there is a parade in two weeks, not this weekend coming up but the next one.  I have to make four giant heads while mom makes the costumes so the boys can wear them in the parade.  So I really do need your help today, to get all the paper mache done.  Then when it is all dry in a day or two I can paint all the faces on.”

It sounded very exciting, but Violet had no idea what they were going to do.  As they headed into the house and down the long hall to the big rooms Aunt Ellie called a quick hello to Violet and a see you girls at lunch time.   Their house had been a school long time ago so the house was on one side and there was a long hall that connected to what used to be big classrooms.  They used one as a library and homework area, one for crafts, one for storage and Violet did not know what was behind all of the other doors.

Walking into the craft room she saw piles of newspaper, bottles of something blue, a big old washtub and a lot of other stuff.  On the table were four large circles, like rally big basketballs, but with out a cover and they were made from some kind of small plastic pieces and some small twig looking things.  Sara could see Violet was very puzzled.

“You see each of these will be a head, they will put their heads up through this part at the bottom and this whole part up here will be like a mask.  But we have to keep them light weight so they can wear them, and see here? That will be the mouth of each head, but it will also be where the boys are looking out so they can see where they are going.  See how I have wire on these two…I need to get that same wire mesh on these two mouths and then we can mix up the goop and get started.” ©

off to see Sara February 5, 2010

When Violet woke up she quickly chose her necklace for the day, got dressed and ran down the stairs for breakfast.  No one was around and it was very quiet and there was a strange smell in the house.  She got her breakfast and sat alone in the quiet kitchen eating her cereal and looking at the back of the cereal box.  Using her finger to trace the maze and to point out the hidden pictures.

Suddenly her father came in with a very serious look.  “Good morning shorty; how’s the breakfast?”

“Good and look I found all the pictures.”  Trying to ignore the serious tone he had, she pointed out each one on the box to him.

“Hurry up and get finished, I am going to take you to see your cousin Sara today she is going to watch you all day.  Make you lunch take you out to ride at their place, it has been a long time since you spent the day over there.  Besides with your mother painting downstairs, you would be pretty bored around here today.”

“Can I go see Max and Cocoa before I leave?”

“No!”  suddenly his voice was very firm, and Violet jumped a little and was not sure what she had done wrong or why she could not see her dog and the little calf.  Even though she was curious she was more than a little afraid to ask why.

“Go on, get ready to go, I will rinse your dishes and don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

Violet did as she was told; as she was putting on her socks and shoes she was thinking about Sara.  Sara was Uncle Lacey and Aunt Ellie’s daughter and she was a lot older than Violet … she was a teenager.  Sara had long dark hair and it was always braided in one long straight braid down her back.    Sara is a barrel racer and is often gone to a rodeo or in a parade.  She loves to water ski and can do anything any of the big boys can do.  Violet really wanted to be like Sara when she grew up.  One of the things she liked best about her though was they could talk about anything, and Sara never treated her like a baby.  Very often she would say “I will tell you the truth” or “I will tell you the whole story, but you can not tell the grownups that I told you.” ©

one shadow or two? February 2, 2010

When they got back from the mailbox it was time for her father to head back out and get some work done.  Violet was sent to her room, to stay out of the way and play until it was time for dinner.  She headed up the stairs, and started to play with her baby.  Putting it in the stroller, or the crib and back again; reading a story and such.

Then she heard her mother calling her for dinner.  After dinner her father took her downstairs to feed the calf one last time before her bath and bedtime.  As they walked over to the sink to prepare the bottle her father remarked “It is cold down here tonight, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“It is not cold” she replied laughing at his silly joke, but as he turned to look at her Violet was surprised that he looked puzzled.  “You are not cold?”

“No.”

He was walking toward her now, handing the bottle over and he said “You are right it is not cold over here, just over at the sink; now that is odd.”

Violet looked over at the sink and saw her fathers shadow, it seemed really big and dark and she quickly looked back at her father.  But as they started to walk into the room where Max and Cocoa were sleeping she saw his shadow on the door in front of them…she quickly turned and saw the black shadow still at the sink.

“Why do you have two shadows?” she asked her father.

“No I have one shadow, the other one is you, look” as he said it he pointed to himself and to her and the shadows on the door in front of them moved.  “No that shadow” Violet said pointing at the sink.

Her father turned around just in time to see the black shadow quickly move to the side and disappear.  “Oh I think it is just because it is so dark and the light is overhead, it just caught me coming and going.”  His voice sounded sure, but the look on his face did not, he glanced back at the sink again and said “Hurry up lets get this calf fed so you can get to bed.”

They laughed that he had made a rhyme, fed the calf, put Max out for a few minutes and then closed them back up in the room.  Up the stairs they went.

Violet’s mother already had her bath ready and before long she had placed her necklace with the others under the pillow and was fast asleep. ©

a long walk February 1, 2010

“Oh there you are, I did not hear you come in.  I was just telling Violet that perhaps you could paint the furniture white on Friday before you left for the weekend; then we could put it all together Monday.”

“That would work.  Violet it’s time to feed the calf do you want to do it?”

“Yes!”

“Ok well this time lets see if we can get him to just follow you and that bottle outside into the sunshine and grass.  Go try and coax him and Max into here, and I will hand you the bottle as we head out.”

Violet went in and found it was easy to get the calf up and Max was more than happy to coax him out of the room.  Being a Border Collie Max was a natural helper at the ranch.  Violet took the big warm bottle from her father and he held open the door as she led the calf and the dog out and into the grass.  The calf drank almost the entire bottle and still had enough energy to walk around some.

“You know shorty I think if he sleeps in the house tonight, tomorrow and tomorrow night then he can head back out to the barn.  We have plenty of warm enough weather, and it should give him time to catch up.   You going to be able to help one more day?”  He said it with a smile and a wink knowing full well Violet was loving every minute she was spending with the calf.

“I will let you feed him one more time after dinner, before you get ready for bed.”

“Ok”  Violet was having a lot of fun, and was more than happy to feed the calf as often as she could.  “Cocoa looks tired daddy.”

“Yes he does, how about I carry him in” he said as he scooped up the calf “and you get the door.”

They placed Max and Cocoa back into the room, and both laid down.  “I am going to walk out to the road and get the mail, how about you come with me and stay out of your mom’s hair for awhile.  Exercise will do us both some good.”  As he was finishing his sentence he was patting his stomach and laughing.

It was a long walk to the road and back, but it was one that Violet loved to do with her father.  Along the way he would explain how many cattle were here and how many there, what fence needed mended or had been fixed already.  He would wave and holler at the workers that they came across and they would always smile and wave back.  Usually Max would follow along but today he had a bigger job to watch over Cocoa as he slept. ©